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I'm Sorry But...

...it still makes me laugh every time I see it. It either looks silly or lewd or both.  

The Man-handling of My Hand

I attended a meeting with a group of parents from my daughter's school today.  I met one of the parents for the first time and we proceeded to shake hands.  Well, he gripped my hand so hard that my fingers are still aching several hours later.  My engagement ring happened to be rotated so that the stone and setting were facing the neighboring finger at the exact moment of the handshake, and it cut through the skin.

Frankly, I don't give a rat's rear end how strong a man's grip is and I see no need to have it demonstrated on my innocent hand.

My reaction, though I didn't say anything to embarrass him and kept it to myself: What a jerk.

Ahmadinejad is Scolded - - OOPS!

I am sure he is quaking in fear over what the big bold UN EU will do next:

EU Condemns "Uncivilized" Iranian Comments on Israel
The European Union condemned "in the strongest terms" Monday remarks by Iranian President Ahmadinejad and other officials about Israel. "Their comments...against Israel are unacceptable, damaging and uncivilized," a statement from the EU's Slovenian presidency said. "The EU calls on Iran to stop hostile rhetoric and refrain from all threats towards other states." (AFP)

If you don't stop it, we'll...um...we'll...er...we'll...uh...yeah.

Update: 

I made a mistake.  I see now that it's the EU, not the UN.

Just substitute.  Same difference.

So Sue Us

The most important job requirement for Syrian foreign minister is an advanced degree in victimology:

Syria plans to sue the U.S. for supplying arms to Israel that later killed Syrians in its 2006 war with Hezbollah guerrillas in Lebanon, the Syrian foreign minister said Thursday, a day after Washington announced new sanctions against Damascus.

Speaking at a news conference with his Iranian counterpart, Manouchehr Mottaki, Foreign Minister Walid Moallem said Syria would retaliate for the U.S. decision to impose fresh sanctions on Syrian officials.

"This time I tell you we will punish the United States ... there are scores of Syrians who became victims during the Israeli war against Lebanon, they will file lawsuits against America" for providing Israel with weapons, he said.

Yeah, suing without a Jewish lawyer. We in the cabal are so laughing.

Pea Brain

...on exhibit here.

(Hat tip: Alisa)

Oh Shut Up

Calling King Carlos:

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez opened an OPEC summit on Saturday with a chilling warning about US$200 oil if the United States attacks Iran in a speech that also urged the cartel to be more political.

Compare and Contrast

Gosh, but it's so difficult for young people today to find themselves, compared to young people from the past.

The Palestinian Authority Parties Alongside James Brolin

Happy 9/11?  Happiness over the deaths of 3,000 innocent victims? Happy to see people jumping off the world's tallest building to escape the hideous heat of burning jet fuel? Happy to hear them having their last conversations with their loved ones just before their plane hit the ground at hundreds of miles an hour? Sick:

Palestinian Authority Celebrates 9/11 Terror Attacks - Itamar Marcus and Barbara Crook (Palestinian Media Watch)
    The PA celebrated the World Trade Center terror attacks by publishing cartoons in Al Hayat Al Jadida, its official daily, that glorify Osama Bin Laden and the attacks.
    This year's cartoon shows Bin Laden smiling while making the "V" for victory sign with two fingers in the shape of the burning Twin Towers.
    The PA daily is owned and controlled by the office of Mahmoud Abbas.
    The U.S. continues to fund the PA and to support it politically, while ignoring the continued promotion of Palestinian hate against the U.S.

Presenting Madonna

Ambassador for Judaism.

Hat tip: Alisa

Update:  SoccerDad has an amusing take.

The Jihadian Code: Osama's Beard is a Sign

From Jihad Watch:

Characteristically, no one is picking up on the significance of the dye job. The Shafi'i school of Islamic jurisprudence forbids men and women to dye their hair black "except when the intention is jihad...as a show of strength to unbelievers" ('Umdat al-Salik e.4.4).

By Grabthar's hammer, these jihadi folks are just so nucking futs.

In Other Words, it's a Lie

aspersion, backbiting, calumniation, calumny, complete distortion of the facts, corker, deceit, deception, defamation, detraction, dishonesty, disinformation, distortion, evasion, fable, fabrication, falsehood, falseness, falsification, falsity, fib, fiction, fish story, forgery, fraudulence, guile, hyperbole, inaccuracy, invention, libel, mendacity, misrepresentation, misstatement, myth, obloquy, perjury, prevarication, revilement, reviling, slander, subterfuge, tale, tall story, terminological inexactitude, vilification, white lie, whopper.

Really and truly total bullshit.

Friday Afternoon Drama

Just to keep you going through the weekend:

Effing Idiots

Four men have been charged with conspiring to attack John F. Kennedy International Airport by planting explosives to blow up jet fuel supply tanks and a pipeline, officials said.

Homeland Security sources said there is no current threat at the airport and that the attack as planned was "not technically feasible."

The alleged plot did not target airplane flights.

"Anytime you hit Kennedy, it is the most hurtful thing to the United States. To hit John F. Kennedy, wow...they love JFK -- he's like the man. If you hit that, this whole country will be in mourning. It's like you can kill the man twice," one of the suspects said during a recorded phone conversation, officials said.

Obviously, they are morons, but can you imagine if by some snowball's chance in hell, they had succeeded?  The death, the destruction, the fear...?

At least one of the perpetraitors (spelled that way on purpose) was an American citizen.

An official described the suspects as "al Qaeda wannabes."

In another recorded conversation with his alleged conspirators in May 2007, Defreitas compared the plot to attack JFK airport with the September 11 attack on the World Trade Center, saying, "Even the Twin Towers can't touch it. This can destroy the economy of America for some time," according to Justice officials.

Catch them, lock them up in Guantanamo, and throw away the key.   

Teachers With Poor Judgment

Case#1 Unbelievable that teachers would do such a stupid thing. Why didn't they tell the kids it was a drill?

Case#2 She showed what movie to 12 year olds in elementary school?

The lawsuit in case#2 belongs in the "anything to make a buck" Hall of Shame, as far as I am concerned. "Jessica continues to show emotional distress caused by watching the film..."  Puh-lease. What a farce.  

President George Bush Is Much Too Polite...UPDATED

...to make mention of the giant stick which resides up the rear end of the Queen of England. 

What a gentleman.

Update:

Giving credit where it is due, it seems Her Royal Majesty DOES have a sense of humor after all - and she used it to good effect to counteract the "Bush is a mannerless rube" idea that had been circulating.  As Don suggested in comments below, this entire brou-ha-ha seems to have been manufactured by the media.

This would be no surprise.  They've tried their best to cast President Bush in as negative light as possible over the past 7 years.

Below, The Guardian decides that maybe it's ok to lighten up along with The Queen:

At a formal dinner last night at the British ambassador's residence in Washington, the Queen opened her speech with a toast to the US president.

Grinning playfully, she began: "I wondered whether I should start this toast by saying, 'When I was here in 1776...'" The guests, including Mr Bush, erupted in laughter.

Folie à Plusieurs

A sad, pathological culture, hoisting itself on its own petard:

Ahmadinejad Criticized for Kissing Teacher's Hand (Maan News-PA)
    Iranian President Ahmadinejad is being slammed by Iranian newspapers and Islamic groups after he kissed his teacher's hand during a celebration of Iranian teacher's day.
    The Tehran-based Hizbullah newspaper considered the Iranian president's behavior contradictory to Islamic law, "which prohibits kissing the hand of any lady if she is not one of the man's family members."

As if stuffing women into bags and preventing innocent expressions of affection is going to lead to...to...what?  Bliss? Utopia?  World domination?

The fact that they are willing to put their belief in a warped ideology ahead of supporting their leader is worrisome - it demonstrates how fervently they believe and how far removed from reality they are.

At the same time, the thought of Ahmadinejad getting berated is extremely funny.    

A Point in Fred Thompson's Favor

He doesn't think much of Mahatma Ghandi.  I don't either, for much the same reason:

“The Jews should have offered themselves to the butcher’s knife,” [Ghandi] said. “They should have thrown themselves into the sea from cliffs.” “Collective suicide,” he told his biographer, “would have been heroism.”

I try to keep things G-rated and am therefore self-censoring my response. For the curious, it would have involved a sacred cow, a scatological reference, and a suggestion for Mr. Ghandi to consider in his afterlife.

The Kennedy/Chavez/Chomsky Connection

God help us, where's the nearest barf bag?

Wanted: A Professor Who Can Teach...

...Europe what it means to be an ally.

One hopes they need US help again (no need to hope very long or hard - it will happen) in the future just so we can hem and haw and debate and criticize and worry them into a frenzy that we actually might not be there to save their sorry rear ends.

And Here We Go

It didn't take long:

Arab Media Suggests "Zionists" Executed Saddam

In the days following the hanging of former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein, columnists and cartoonists in the Arab and Muslim press have promulgated conspiracy theories suggesting that "Zionists" played a behind-the-scenes role in meting out his death sentence and participated in the actual execution.

Editorial columns and political cartoons appearing in mainstream newspapers in various Arab countries, including Qatar, Bahrain, Jordan, Algeria and elsewhere, suggested that "Zionists" aided in Saddam's demise in an effort to promote what several described as Israel's "colonial aspirations."

Criticizing Israel's treatment of the Palestinians and its so-called "colonial" character, various columnists asserted that Saddam's execution would give Israel an opening to push further East in its "conquest of the Middle East."

The language and imagery in the Arab and Muslim press frequently portrayed the execution as a cooperative effort between the United States and Israel -- drawing upon common anti-Semitic notions of a Jewish conspiracy in Washington.

Media in the Arab and Muslim world also praised the former dictator's legacy, noting his "achievements" of shelling Tel Aviv during the first Gulf War and pursuing pan-Arabism and a strengthened Arab world.

The Kurds and Iran were thrown together with the U.S. and Israel as either explicitly benefiting from Saddam's death or taking part in the execution itself. Iran was often paired with Israel as a "colonial state" with an interest in expanding its sphere of influence in the region.

Link.

Via Yid With Lid

Oh My

Brittney Spears has a Sharon Stone moment that Paris Hilton can't quite prevent from being photographed.  Ordinarily, I would not share a faux pas like this, but if you wear a short skirt and "forget" to wear underwear, I guess you don't exactly care, do you? MNBSFW.

My Opinion on Iraq

My opinion has changed completely over the past few weeks since the recent elections.  I would like to apologize for being wrong and to ask forgiveness.

Bush should not have sent in troops without bipartisan and most importantly, worldwide support.  The United States is a weakling and requires everyone's help to accomplish anything of importance.  No strength of any kind can be found in the US - moral or otherwise. I was very misguided and stupid to have thought we could actually accomplish anything of substance in the Middle East. I had faith in us, our economy, our history, our strength, our values, our brainpower, our ingenuity, our technology and our courage.  But I was grievously mistaken.

From this point on:

We should allow Europe to be in charge of world affairs, and we should construct a funnel of money, liberally supplied by our taxes (which should be raised). The funnel should be mounted upon a freely pivoting joint that can be turned and aimed in any direction.  The Middle East will supply the oil to keep it well greased.  Anytime anyone anywhere needs anything, we should turn it in that direction.

All US Presidents, political and government employees should have or quickly develop a crease between their brows. This should be utilized whenever they are asked any questions in order to imply great gravity of thought. They should also nod their heads.  A lot.  Unless the subject is controversial to anyone of another culture.  In this case, they should shake their heads vigorously and say, "I'm sorry, we must ask the UN's opinion on that."

The UN should determine our foreign policy.  We should have a seat at the table and a BIG IMPORTANT WEIGHTED vote, but we should only be permitted to use the vote as voted by the rest of the UN members.   

At UN meetings, all US delegates should be required to raise their hand and ask before going to the bathroom.  A lifesize cardboard  cut-out of the current president should be kept in the lobby of the UN, with its back facing those who arrive.  Everyone should be given a chance to stab it with a knife before entering the building.

The US should be required to send nuclear technology and technicians and materials at no cost to whoever wants them.   The CIA should be disbanded.  US borders should remain open to anyone and everyone. The President should sign a pledge that US culture, however, will remain strictly within the borders of the US.  Other languages and cultures should be taught in our schools by nationals from those countries.  Whenever US history is taught, a list of everything we've done wrong (to be put together by a special UN delegation) must also be taught at the same time.   

Whenever a person from another country enters the room, Americans should rise and bow deeply, with both hands together in a prayer position in front of their faces.  However, Americans must not be religious people, but confirmed, card-carrying atheists. 

Finally, every American visiting a foreign country should be required to leave very large tips in restaurants, and to wear signs on their backs saying, "KICK ME."

We made a grave mistake going into Iraq.  It was not our business.  We were much too big for our britches.  We should have known up front that we were incapable.   

Americans, learn how to grovel humbly before all. Get used to others being in charge of your fate.

Maybe (oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please) they will leave us alone to watch American Idol and read about Brit and Fed-ex in peace...

If- - we play our cards right.

If - - we don't make them mad. 

If - - we do what they say. 

Honestly - - if I'd known that we didn't have what it took to topple Saddam and also establish a peaceful Iraq up front, I'd have said, "Don't do it."

We lack will, courage and determination and have no business being involved in world events.

A half-assed attempt leading to a huge failure. Shameful.

We could still prevail.  We could pour in more troops.  We could enforce the peace.

But I don't believe it's going to happen. I think we're going to repeat Vietnam and leave in disgrace.

On that day, I will be ashamed to call myself an American.

We DESERVE Palast

The mid-term election was stolen by Rovebots, according to Greg Palast.

(I couldn't get the link to work.  Click below the line for the article that relates to this post.)

Thanks to Palast, one more opportunity to exercise fashionable and stylish progressive vocabulary.  See how you like it - I'm still a rookie in the game.  Ahem. Uh, yes.  Here goes:

His pre-election article is entirely, from side to side, from beginning to end, around its perimeter and across its vast and bloviated interior, moronic and ridiculous!

Written in the past tense, Palast was so sure that the election would be stolen, he called it prior to the the actual election.

No. No. It's not right.  The tone is missing something.  It's too - happy.  I have to work on being self-righteously outraged. I need more "How DARE he!"  It's simply not enough to say it's moronic and ridiculous... 

It is the MOST moronic and ridiculous article written in the last 5 centuries.  The complete and utter gall, combined with the sheer lunacy, that he would actually be so sure that Republicans were going to fix the election, that he called it fixed as if it had already actually happened - one day prior to the actual election, proves that Palast is the most moronic and ridiculous writer of his generation, the likes of which, may we never see again anytime soon.

He truly belongs in hell with the horse he rode in on and his evil little minions as well.

(I don't know who they are, but that doesn't matter.  He has to have minions and they have to be evil and look like miniature gargoyles.)

This folks, is what we have to deal with.  Palast has his slimy tentacles interwoven into the fabric of...of...of...the brains of those who allow him in.  As an invited guest. Or uninvited.  He finds his way into the nervous tissue and molts there.

Yes, and you allow it.  How?  By not speaking truth to power.  You are sheeples, and you disgust me.

The world is going to hell in a handbasket, and what are you doing?  Reading this as you work for the evil corporate structure? Adding fuel to the fire?

This country does not deserve to live. No wonder everyone hates us.

Remember:

No WMDs were found.

Bush lied, people died.

No blood for oil.

Is it any wonder we are producing such moronic and ridiculous reporters such as Palast?

We DESERVE Palast.

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