Reach to Recovery

Reach to Recovery is a program from the American Cancer Society which matches up breast cancer survivors with women who are newly diagnosed or undergoing treatment.  I'm a volunteer and I've worked with a few women.  Tonight, I had an especially moving and emotional phone call. 

The woman lives in my town, is 62 and just lost her husband recently.  She had a mastectomy this past February and is debating whether to undergo chemotherapy. 

Her will to live was lost with her husband. She could barely talk about him - they'd had a long and happy marriage. She felt alone and lost.

What could I do?  What could I say?  How could I help?

In her case, chemo will give her a 5-7% improvement in odds of not having a recurrence.  I said everything I could think of to convince her to do it.   I could really understand how she felt, but as I told her, one day she will wake up and it will be spring and the sun will be out, the flowers will be blooming, and she will be glad to be alive and glad she gave herself a better chance for a long life.  She has 2 children, one grandchild and another on the way. I shamelessly told her to do it for her children, and that she shouldn't deprive her grandchildren of their grandmother.

She said she has friends who have offered to help, but she hated the thought of asking them for anything.  I suggested that instead of thinking she was asking for help, she was instead providing an opportunity for others to feel needed and good about themselves. That people like to help others and they would especially like to be able to help a friend. And of course I told her she could call me.

I suggested that she consider thinking about trying one dose, and seeing how it goes.  People react in different ways - maybe she would be one who got through it more easily. She said she hadn't thought of that, that maybe she would try it. 

I'll call her back in a few days to see what she decides.

Comments

[Leora]

Gail, what a wonderful thing to do. You are so good to listen to her.

My mother, z"l, may her memory be blessed, was part of a cancer support group. She used to listen to the struggles of younger women with breast cancer. When she lit candles on Friday night, she would add prayers for those women. Some would debate whether to have a child. My mother felt blessed for having both children and grandchildren.

It's a special gift, Gail, that you can reach out to someone lonely and in pain.

[Gail]

Thanks, Leora. When I was newly diagnosed, someone from Reach to Recovery came to visit me and it helped a lot. I am very glad that I have the opportunity to give back.

So sorry you lost your mother.

[alisa]

Here is something else in which you are a radical extremist! For one blessed with so many gifts and talents, I find your acts of kindness the most noticeable. The lady is lucky to have you in her life.

[Gail]

Yikes. I am blushing again. Not at all becoming in a woman of my age. lol. Thanks, Alisa. I feel like I have a responsibility to use what I learned from going through the experience. And it is a gift (to me) to be able to help. There's no better feeling in the world than making a difference in someone else's life.