Pat Has a Religious Experience

In what has become an annual tradition of prognostications, religious broadcaster Pat Robertson said Tuesday God has told him that a terrorist attack on the United States would result in "mass killing" late in 2007.

"I'm not necessarily saying it's going to be nuclear," he said during his news-and-talk television show "The 700 Club" on the Christian Broadcasting Network. "The Lord didn't say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that."

Robertson said God told him during a recent prayer retreat that major cities and possibly millions of people will be affected by the attack, which should take place sometime after September.

Robertson said God also told him that the U.S. only feigns friendship with Israel and that U.S. policies are pushing Israel toward "national suicide."  

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Comments

[DRaftervoi]

It seems that this "G*d" is one great practical joker, because every year G*d has a cozy sit-down "Chat With Pat," and every year, G*d, like Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie Brown, plays Pat for a chuckle-headed sap.

Past "Pat predictions" included an invasion of the Middle East by the U.S.S.R., global economic collapse (this, just before the bull market of the 80's...), Bush winning in a "blowout" in '04 (he won by a thin margin), and a tidal wave hitting the Pacific Northwest.

Pat is a charletan, no different than John Edwards or Sylvia Browne; he takes your money and sells you snake-oil.

DRaftervoi's Prediction for 2007: Pat Robertson will continue yammer on about things he knows nothing about, inspired by crazy voices in his head.

[Gail]

God told him to tell the media that Ariel Sharon's stroke was a punishment for his political policies. Then God changed his mind and told him to apologize for saying it.

It's not easy being a Prophet.

[AndyJ]

Headlines = Money
Pat makes headlines and gets money. Pat made a headline and....

"Millions of people" would imply Bos-NY-Wash and/or LA. He ain't saying anything that hasn't been speculated and scenario'd by every alphabet-soup agency. We all know it. That's why some of us think we're at war.

As far as prophecy goes, this is kinda weak. The Mayan calendar does a much better job. They have a specific date even if uncertain type of doom...

[DRaftervoi]

AndyJ: Prediction differs from risk assessment; Pat is predicting a single act of mass murder on the soil of the United States in a specific year. He claims that G*d informed him of this coming event. That is fundamentally different than advancing the truthful claim that organized cells of Islamists have publically stated in unequivocable terms that they are at war with the United States and intend to commit acts of terrorism.

Of course, "three out of four experts" predicted a terrorist attack before the '04 presidential election, and that didn't happen, either. More charlatans, only these were flacking for a partisan political purpose, not collecting money for G*d. But they're all cut from the same cloth, they're all rat-bastards.

My guess is the Mayan Calendar will be the next big "End of the World" fad, at least among a certain type of dimwitted "New Age" dumb-ass. You know the sort: the hapless dopes who lap up aromatherapy, believe the Pyramids were built by aliens from the Dog Star, and are convinced they had a very interesting past life as a member of a royal family. It won't be as widespread as the Y2K nonsense (I quote: "By June 2000, four-fifths of the world's population will be dead"), but people will put up websites touting books about surviving the coming apocalypse, or the Dawning of the Age of Aquariums, or whatever they're predicting on Art Bell's radio show.

But I go out on a limb here and make my own prediction: January 1, 2013, the sun will rise, yet again, and life will go on. Take it to the bank, bub: I have successfully predicted the NOT-END of the World forty-seven times, starting in the late 1960s when I correctly predicted that California would not drop into the ocean in a massive earthquake.

So, that'll be $19.95 for the prediction. Cash only! The last time you sent me a check drawn on the Bank of Tierra del Fuego, and they wanted me to present my I.D. personally. As my mom says, "Fool me once, well, f*ck you. Cash only!"

[AndyJ]

Today's SF Chronicle; "Many evangelicals cringe at Robertson's prophecies
Televangelist still draws viewers, but pastors say his remarks make Christians look bad" (http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/01/07/PAT.TMP)

We said that-!!